Men and Women: The Eternal Puzzle
We’ll never “solve” the primal attraction-tension between heterosexual men and women, and believe me, my 1960s-‘70s generation tried. This eternal puzzle came back to me last night, as I watched Casablanca again for the first time in years. The 1942 movie is still wonderful – in some ways more of a delight to me now than ever. I’d forgotten how emotionally vulnerable and haunted that Humphrey Bogart’s hardboiled character (Rick) is --- how he spends most of the movie torn up and bitter about losing Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman), the love of his life. At the end of the film classic, of course, Bogart does the right thing, the noble thing – he sacrifices his own well-being for the woman he loves. (The cynical Rick also sides with the right side of history, rejoining the anti-fascist struggle.)
Over 80 years later, the cinematic Bogart remains the deepest, truest template for masculinity. His sexy/ugly, tough/tender dichotomy is what modern men still aim for and what straight women desire. The fact that today’s men – often confused and indecisive – generally fall short of this ideal is a cultural conundrum, as well as a source of great frustration to women, who are besieged with their own contradictions.
What contemporary movie or TV series comes close to the power of Casablanca when it comes to portraying the complicated dance between the sexes? They are few and far between. Men on screen are often dithering fools or violent sadists. Women are victims or cardboard constructions out of some #Me Too fantasy.
I propose the lead characters of the British TV series C. B. Strike as an exception – one of the few dramas to portray the male-female dynamic in a compelling way. The relationship between private detective Cormoran Strike (Tom Burke) and his colleague Robin Ellacott (Holliday Grainger) is complex, febrile, fraught, erotic, protective, intelligent, comradely, professional – in other words, it feels REAL. But after five seasons, Strike and Ellacott have still not consummated their relationship – all they’ve managed is a chaste kiss or two on the cheek.
I understand why the two leads – and their creators – have held back. They don’t want to fuck things up. In true noir fashion, both C.B .Strike characters have traumatic back stories. But, still, if this don’t-go-there tension continues (a sixth season of the show, which is based on J. K. Rowling’s crime novels, is being produced), I’ll see it as an artistic copout, a creative surrender to today’s male-female dilemma.
We (straight men and women) desperately need screen models of lovers who maintain their independence while being deeply involved (sexually and otherwise) with each other. Is this really so hard to show on the screen? I suppose it is -- because it’s so hard in real life.
Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca